quiver

spun up the wires,
collected what constricted this body
for so long
movement eased and i was able to reach
out
and hold on to the extremities of somone
who melted, the way i do when they are near.

arriving & arriving

spread lengthwise
across the bed
turning off and on and off, endlessly,
this sleep
to see where,
that,
you and i are,
and still,
happening and define
a line
where the dreams and we meet

working

this morning i am freezing,
the way you were.

i know sometimes i say the wrong things,
and i worry too much you're over me
and i have had more than a few
dreams of you, and i tangled together
in the morning, rising early
to brush each others teeth
for our new day in.

when you left, i could not keep from shaking,
like coming down off something serious,
and it continues despite the days that are between
our first day and now, whenever i think of your return.

there is still a full week ahead, and only four days behind
i can't stop wishing i was there, or you were home,
or i could just sleep through this and wake to you,
on the edge of my bed again, folded like sheets
or an ampersand i only want to place between our names
as my only thought these days are of how i feel that much better
next to you.

simon

he knew what lay before him
for centuries, his ancestors
carried this
so now he must
traditionally armed and stone faced
he jumped the moat
extinguishing candles and undead
never to fall, never to waver
the evil ahead of him,
immoratal as it is,
must end, if only for his lifetime

the smallest favor i could ask

i would like a voice
that exist independent of myself
anyone could hear it and think, "yes,
yes he is."
but my broken and swollen tenor
falls flat more often than it doesn't
and with out the support it needs
to stay afloat

fractured

in this seat, commuting back and forth
the only thought that comes is of you,
your face in my hand, palm at your cheek
and my grip tightening and your skin flushing
and eyes, widening
and your skulls snaps at my fingers
to dust, and i breath you in
only to vomit it back and die inside you,
like lovers should.

spinerette

keeping warm the best i can
rubbing this shit out
below the heater vent
spilling heat i am stealing

fucked up on sleep
and allergy medication
i can't tell when i am
awake
so i sit in my room
half naked
looking for the small cut
between my wrist and elbow
that i can push my fingers through
pulling out muscle fibers
like ribbons and tie them to the window sill
till i can find the bone
and snap her in half

bled, bleeding, breeding

i have been working again
getting past the breakdowns
and seeing past what was holding
me down or back
and still belong outside you.
and it's the things our bodies did
when no one could see,
when you were not looking,
that i miss the most
in hindsight
i can, i never really mattered

THE Fence, not A Fence

culling shit from her room
collected, she misconnected
her ideas in news papers
always at the edge, where it hurt the most

it was a charm
held still at the base
of the bones that keep
your sorry ass standing straight
hollow like birds, not for flight
just another series of holes
to sink deep in and assume
you are better than most, if not all

dealing

grace, i needed grace
she smelled sweet of
blueberries and vanilla
shaking rainsoaked
i stood before her
with hand fulls of
the stars collected
in insomnia she
cured, and dulled
the sharp pangs
of my regret

i was trying to sound out
the past few months
make sense of what
i gave up and gave in to
watching dolls run around
pretending they have shit down
trying to site hypocritical resources
she would become only a faded sketch
outlined red and scribbled blue
despite what you think you know
the first verse isn't for you